9/10 women say they wish they had closer friends, but that they have no idea how to get there.
Here's the thing... we have friends: There’s the girl from our church that we sometimes get coffee with, the girl who used to be in our small group that we see occasionally, the girl from work we got happy hour with that one time, the friend from high school that we’ve been meaning to call.
But a smattering of coffee dates just doesn’t feel the same as having a group of best girlfriends. Right?
Life is so much better when we have that group of best girlfriends — the ones you plan girls trips with, the ones who are over at your house every Monday to watch the Bachelor (no judgement!), the ones you call in the middle of the night when you need someone to pray for you. We need women who know us to our core and love us no matter what — and we need them right in our town, in our everyday lives, not a phone call or a plane ride away. But so many of us just don’t have that.
We don't have best friends like that, and worst of all, we don't know how to get them. We’re going on coffee dates, trying to be intentional, but we wonder —
how many coffee dates is this going to take before this stops feeling like an awkward first date, and starts to feel like best friendship?
The answer? A LOT. But luckily... there's a better way!
By going through this small group guide with a group of women, in just 6 WEEKS you can fast-track a process that can take years — decades even.
“I did the small group guide with women I’ve known for 30 years. We got closer in those 6 weeks than we had in the 30 years leading up to it.
This guide turns strangers into friends, and best friends into even better friends. It's worth every penny!
How does it work?
Where did the idea for the small group guide come from?
A few years ago, I moved to a new city for work — a city where I didn't know a soul. Truth? I’ve never been so lonely in my life. So I got to work. I started going on coffee dates. But even after months of putting myself out there, I was still SO far away from having the best friends I so deeply wanted.
I knew there had to be a better way to find your people, so I did some research.
I talked with my best friends who were now scattered across the country. We talked about when we went from acquaintances to soul-mate best friends. When did that change happen? How did it happen? I wondered if the same thing could work with my coffee-date friends in my new town.
We realized that the transformation happened when we shared our stories with each other — when we shared and heard the things that have made each of us who we are today.
The problem is: These conversations can take years to happen. We’re not sure how to bring things up, or when, and most of the questions we just never think to ask!
That’s why I wrote this small group guide.
The first time I tested it out — I invited those coffee-date friends over to my house, and within that first night, women who barely knew me, and didn’t know each other were telling hilarious stories, laughing so hard I think one actually peed her pants, crying as we told stories we rarely feel comfortable sharing, and speaking God’s truth and encouragement into tender areas of each other’s lives.
And that was just the first night.
This small group guide was the turning point for me and my girlfriends. It transformed strangers into friends, and friends into best friends.
It helped me find my people in a city where I previously had been so deeply lonely, and it did it all within just 6 weeks.
If it can do that for me, I know it can for you too!
Because of this workbook, these girls have become my people, my support group, my advice-givers, the people I have the MOST fun with, my prayer warriors, and my friends.
Making new friends can feel like the worst part of dating. It’s slow, it’s awkward, and we have to rinse and repeat so many times before we ever feel like we’ve found our people. But this small group guide changes all of that.
In just 6-weeks you can fast-track a process that can take years — decades even. You can skip over the awkward dating process, and get to the good part — the part where you have the group of best friends you've always wanted.
9/10 women say they wish they had closer friendships — but we can change that. Let's change that for ourselves, and for each other. Don’t wait another day before finding your soul-mate best friends.
What some sweet friends are saying...
Who is the guide good for?
Truly, the guide works wonderfully for women of all ages, and women of all levels of friendship with each other. I’ve seen 13-year-olds use it and love it, and 65-year-olds use it and love it. The guide asks questions that are central to our lives as women no matter our age or stage of life.
You can use the guide with:
- A group of friends you’ve known for years
- A group of women you’re friends with but who don't know each other
- A group of acquaintances, or friends of friends
- Your small group at church (it’s not a Bible Study, but it’s the perfect way to begin one!)
- Any teams or boards you’re on, or with groups like sororities (Phi Mu at the University of Alabama took their pledge class of 145 girls through it! They broke up into smaller groups, but it helped the pledge class as a whole bond in the most beautiful way!)
- Women on a retreat together
- With your supper club/cooking club
- And more!
How does the guide work specifically?
The way the guide works is that a group of women will gather together 6 times, and answer a set of questions each time. There’s a new topic for each week, and the topics and questions within them were intentionally crafted so that we learn the most important things about each other in the most natural, encouraging, and intentional way.
There’s no preparation time, no homework in-between, and nobody needs to be an expert small group leader. Everything you need is provided for you in the guide!
The topics we cover are:
1. Our history with friendships
Before we can build new friendships or go deeper in our existing ones, we need to know where we all come from. Some of us have a great history with female friendships, but for many of us, female friendships are a sore subject. We've been hurt, rejected, or feel like we don't have the relationships everyone else has. This week we're going to get it all out on the table. We're going to figure out where we're all starting so we can begin a new chapter together.
2. Our relationships
Whether we're single, married, dating, or engaged, none of us quite know what we're doing. Starting this week, instead of comparing our relationships to what we see around us, we're going to get in the ring together. We're going to help each other out, offering support, and advice, and resting in the fact that whatever we're going through, we don't have to do it alone.
3. Our faith
So often we wrestle with our faith alone. We feel like we need to have it together on the surface, while on the inside we're wrestling with doubt, hard questions, or just feeling like we're an overall disappointment to God. But we don't have to walk the journey of faith alone.
4. Our family
Whether you come from a great family, or a hard family situation, for so many of us, we don't feel known until people know about our family. This week we're going to open up about where we come from.
5. Our relationships with ourselves
This week is all about our relationships with ourselves — a beautiful time of realizing that none of the women around the table are perfect, but that we’re all beautiful and deeply worthy of love.
6. The impact we want to make on the world
This week is a commissioning week. We're going to dig into our dreams together, hearing about and discussing the impact we were each created to make in the world. Then we're going to talk about how we can help each other, and how we can come behind our world-changing sisters.
How much time will this realistically take?
I recommend allowing at least two hours for each week's topic. Depending on how much your group likes to share you may need more time, but if you keep an eye on the clock, you should be able to get through the questions in two hours.
Is this the same thing as a Bible study?
It's not. While there is a section where we talk about faith and our relationship with God, there is no Bible study within this workbook. However, it’s my favorite way to begin a Bible study — a way of deepening friendships, and establishing trust before diving into a study together.
Would this work to do at a retreat or over a weekend?
Absolutely. In fact, that's one of my favorite ways to do it. When testing out the workbook, I rented a cabin with a group of friends and went away for the weekend. We used this as our discussion guide and walked out of the weekend so much closer than we walked in.
I'm new in town and would love to do this, but I don't know anyone to invite to be a part of it. What do you recommend?
I totally hear you. When I moved to Nashville I didn't know anyone either. But when I stopped to think about it, I realized I had more people to invite than I originally thought. Maybe you have two casual work acquaintances that you invite, and you ask each of them to invite a friend of theirs. Then, with two invitations you have a group of five! It takes bravery, absolutely. But I think when we muster up the courage, we have more options of people to invite than we initially think.
I really want to do this, but I’m afraid to ask people! What if they say no?
Sweet friend, I totally hear you! Initiating anything can feel intimidating. But think about it this way: We’re quick to assume that everyone else has more than enough friends. But studies show, that’s just not true. Most of the women you meet in your life wish they had more great friends to connect with. If it’s easier, treat this like a ministry — you’re creating a space for women to connect and form community. You’re doing it for them, not for you. And when you do that, you also will find that you have the community you’ve always wanted too!
I would love to do this, but I don't have a Pinterest-perfect house to invite people to.
Oh gosh, I don’t either. The thing is — you don’t necessarily need to host at your house. If you’re in transition, or simply don’t have the room, you can ask if another woman in the group would mind hosting. But truly — any location is perfect. Just clean up a little, and light a candle. That’s seriously all it takes. The setting doesn't have to be perfect for wonderful things to happen within it.
How many workbooks do I need?
The way we have designed them is for each member of the group to have their own book. There is space within the workbook for personal reflection, and an art print that is designed to be cut out of each workbook and framed. (It's so cute! We can't wait for you to see it!)
I'm on a budget... can I just buy one copy and make copies, or share it with my group?
We humbly ask you not to make copies or share workbooks. The profits from the workbooks allow us to pay our bills which allows us to continue doing what we believe we are meant to do in the world. And when illegal copies are made, or workbooks are passed around, it really hurts our ability to continue. Thank you so much for your consideration and respect!
Could this work for a men's group?
I wouldn't recommend it. The book was written for women from the perspective of a woman. I would rather have men go through something specifically written for them.
Is this only for Christians?
No, it's not! There is a section where we talk about faith—whether we have one, why or why not, our biggest questions about God, etc. But you won't find the workbook packed full of language you need a degree in theology to decode.
Have a question I didn't answer? Send me an email! I'd love to talk more about this!